As I ended my weekend and with it the fantasy of being the head gardener of a lemon orchard, I set about my normal routines, with one major change on my mind. My lemon trees.
In between my families Father’s Day tribute BBQ, and a few failed rounds of pickle ball with my siblings and their kids, I learned that my tree is a Meyer improved dwarf lemon tree. According to citrus.com;
“Dwarf Meyer lemon trees are shrub-like, but they can be pruned and made to look like a tree. The beautiful blossoms of this lemon tree are white and delightfully fragrant much like blended citrus with jasmine. The fruit is sweeter, has less acidic flavor & reduced bitterness compared to Lisbon or Eureka lemons.”so I learned that my little guy would grow to be a pretty little thing.
I also learned that my trees forebearers traveled here from their native China in 1908 at the hands of a man named Frank N Meyer. But grandpa lemon tree was discovered to be a symptomless carrier of the Tristeza Virus which was deadly for other citrus trees, through it all the forefathers of my citrus friend prevailed, because while many were destroyed, the strain of Meyer Lemon trees found to be disease free avoided oblivion. And from that stem, which was carefully guarded by the University of California, my lemon tree was born.
I started to worry about pollination, who could blame me, nobody wants to talk to their one year old about the birds and the bees and the minutia of reproduction. plus the Apricot tree in the front yard is kind of a slut. I learned it was part of a family of Self Pollinating trees. so I don’t really have to have that conversation; the process of hand pollination requires me violating my trees blossoms by brushing them the stamen of one blossom and rubbing pollen on the pistol of another. Not prepared for that. 
What I learned about as I started to worry about a possible economic shutdown in my state, was that the minuscule details of plant care are soothing. While I have no intention of making this the center of my Zen garden, I would like to use the care and cultivation of this tree to take my mind off my obsessive thoughts so that as I prune the stems off the tree to help it focus on growth, I can shed my mind of the toxic thoughts that permeate my mind. And although it will be larger than any bonsai tree, it already is, it will serve the same purpose as the Bonsai, it already has.
As I transfer the sapling from its current pot into a pot full of a nutrient dense and loamy soil that will keep the root network moist without drowning it, maybe I can find a way to do what is right no matter how hard it is, while not suffocating my spirit with all the bile and hatred in the world.
this is the pot that i decided my little lemon buddy will spend the summer in, with some treated potting soil that should help keep the root network moist, but not drowning. and some fruit and veggie fertilizer. i drilled holes in the "self watering" tray of the new pot, because everything i have read says that the tree needs to be able to drain off extra water.
When I come home weary from the physical and emotional strains of my daily life. I can find strength in caring for another living thing. And with it I can hopefully bring some beauty into this world.
as I said goodbye to siblings and nieces and nephews, I hadn’t seen in months due to “social distancing “guidelines, I made plans to find my tree a humble terracotta pot and get some citrus specific soil and fertilizer. I searched the web for guides on pruning and realized that we can worry about so much, and control so little, but in the end all we can do is take focus on making a positive impact on the part of our lives we can control.
Edit 7/5/2020 sorry I didn’t finish this thought in my original post.
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